my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the liver wants what the liver wants
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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