return my video game
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
