dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
