This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
