Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize