are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
