So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
