my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
