she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
