I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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