pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
