my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
