I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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