I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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