Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
