OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
