having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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