Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's when you crack a 10am beer
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
