He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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