idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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