I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize