When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
