Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
