Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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