Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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(407): View more from Florida

He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.

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(210): View more from Texas

beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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(760): View more from California

Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty

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(250): View more from British Columbia

for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.

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(206): View more from Washington

No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.

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(415): View more from California

Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it

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