We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize