when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
