One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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