You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
