I think I am morally bankrupt
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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