It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
