One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
