Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
