Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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