You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize