u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
