So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize