I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I currently don't understand fingers.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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