you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
