Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
