fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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