everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
