I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
