I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
