Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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