Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize