I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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