You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
