if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
