i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize