I want to have your abortion
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
