It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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