Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
