I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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