Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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