I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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