And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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