She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
