1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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