guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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