he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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